Pregnancy Loss is like one of those terrifying nightmares that jolt you awake. The nightmares that make you physically jump in bed or desperately and unapologetically cry out for help. Those nightmares always come out of nowhere. They are the kind of nightmares that take a moment or two to process and put together what is real. My pregnancy losses felt like they hit out of no where. I specifically remember waking up in the middle of the night right after my last ectopic pregnancy surgery in excruciating pain, unable to sit up by myself, and emotionally broken I cried out “this cannot be real life.” I was in shock trying to process all of the loss and trauma.
Miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, chemical pregnancy, recurrent pregnancy loss, infant loss, and all of it is so so impossibly hard. There really are no words for how difficult it is. It is world shattering and leaves you feeling broken not only physically but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I have specifically thought on multiple occasions and wondered out loud “How do I move on from this? How do I survive it? I don’t know how…”
At the Bundled Blessings Fertility Event that we went to in September there was a quote that really made a powerful impact on me.
“You have survived 100% of your worst days. The odds are in your favor.” -Susie Lemmer
I still have really hard grief days. My anxiety can get out of control. Sometimes the sadness is exhausting and it’s hard to get out of bed. I can get wrapped up in the future and get anxious in what is to come. “Will I ever be pregnant again?” “Is it safe for me to carry another baby?” “Can I mentally handle another loss?” “I don’t know if I am strong enough for IVF, what if I can’t do it?” etc…etc…etc… As I have these thoughts that aren’t serving me that quote always comes to mind. It is so super empowering. I have survived 100% of the worst, ugly, hard, butt kicking days so far. So whatever might come next bring it on because I can sure as heck survive that too!
Pregnancy loss and infertility is really hard. Just life in general sometimes can be really difficult and heartbreaking. Just remember you are strong and already have survived so much! Keep trying, keep moving forward, your best is good enough, and it does get easier. The future is hopeful! The odds are in your favor!!!
I made this quote into a free 5x7 printable. Print it and put it on your mirror, in your car, next to your bed, or screen shot it and save it on your phone.
