I am super independent. I am also a recovering perfectionist. It is a super neat combo 😂 I like to do things in a certain way by myself. I have always liked to be the one that GIVES help, but RECEIVING help was a hot no thanks.🙅🏼♀️
The past 2 years have made me seriously humble myself. After having multiple pregnancy losses I have never been in such a low and dark place. It felt like I had been shoved down a flight of stairs, in the dark, and I was laying flat on my back super hurt. I was broken. I needed time to figure out how to get my feet under me again to stand up. I desperately needed to ask for help.
The physical pain was so intense I didn’t really move for a few days. I needed meals brought in for my family, and people brought by lunch. We needed help with my kids during trips to the er, surgery, to recover, and check-ups.
I have asked to talk with church leaders about things I was struggling with spiritually. I reached out to friends who had been through similar experiences for help and receive empathy. Sometimes they just let me cry and that is all I needed. I went to my doctor for help because I was struggling with sleeping, PTSD, and depression. I was super open with my husband on how I was feeling and what I needed from him.
Asking for help is NOT a weakness! That is a big life lesson that has really sunk in this year. Again, ASKING FOR HELP IS NOT WEAKNESS! Helping people is such a gift and a talent, but being able to ask for help is also an important talent to develop. It takes courage to ask for help.
When life is too dark, too hard, and you feel weak, the bravest thing you can do is ask for help. People want to help! They want the opportunity to bless and strengthen those around them.
I know that one of the reasons why we go through trials and hard moments in life is so we can help answer prayers and be God’s hands. Let people do that for you! God might be trying to answer your prayers through someone else.
I want to help! Reach out if you ever need to vent, talk, cry, etc. You are not ever, ever alone.
What do you think is the hardest thing about asking for help?
About Me
If I could go back and tell my 23-year-old self-anything it would be, “Don’t grip so tightly to your plans. It’s ok if things don’t work out how you thought. Have faith, be still. God will never let you down. Through pain and brokenness, you will feel stronger and more love.”
I have 2 smart, hilarious, and beautiful kids; my son is 9 and my daughter is 5. I've been married 10 years. I love podcasts and reading inspiring self-help books(Brené Brown & I are meant to be BFFs). I’m a collaborator for a blog and I love writing. I’m addicted to starbursts, and peppermint Hersey’s kisses. I dream of having a vacation house in Destin, Florida. I love girls nights. We need each other as women to survive and support each other!
I am a textbook type-A personality. I am what you would probably call “a control freak.” I love lists and planning. I thought life would go as simply as get married, have babies, raise those babies, and grow old together with my husband. Sure I knew there would be bumps and trials along the way, but I had a plan! Everything was going to be fine.
I've had 1 miscarriage between my kids, that had life-threatening complications including hemorrhaging, spending a week in the hospital, and 2 units of blood transfused. Then 3 more pregnancy losses in a row, 2 being ectopic and 1 fallopian tube being removed I have learned a lot. I am still reminding myself to let go of my plans, trust God, and align my will with His, but dang it’s hard! Infertility is still so strange for me to grasp. Grief can be suffocating. Pregnancy announcements make my heart jump into my throat. My arms ache for another baby. I'm mourning those babies I have lost. I’ve wondered how I could face another day. How would I move on from this?
By doing one task at a time peace slowly starts to come. It’s ok to feel angry, hurt, grief and pain, especially when we don’t understand the “why.” By showing up every day (even just the huge win of just getting out of bed) you start making room for light to come through brokenness and answers to come. Search for love and gratitude. I know things will get better.
Tell me about you! And share with a friend that needs a little hope and love.