One of my goals in starting this blog and community was to help others find support through their journey of infertility, pregnancy loss, grief, and life overall. I want to help be an advocate for others who might need it. Something I didn't expect was I personally would make such wonderful connections with people. Santanna and I spoke on the phone for about an hour one night. She is amazing and so inspiring. I immediately loved her and her warm caring soul.
I think so many can relate to Santanna's and her husband Cole's journey with infertility. Santanna is such an amazing woman and helps me feel so much hope. She took a really difficult trial and turned it into something that made her stronger and now she is helping so many people volunteering for the Bundled Blessings Fertility Foundation.
The Bundled Blessings Fertility Foundation mission is "to raise awareness about infertility and provide grants to families diagnosed with infertility to assist with treatment, adoption, and surrogacy costs." Santanna and the amazing women at Bundled Blessings have events in just a few months to offer fertility grants to families! Because the costs of infertility treatments or adoption are so high this opportunity is so life-changing for so many.
I know you will love Santanna and be inspired by her like I am. This is her story...
My husband, Cole, and I were typical newlyweds; young, healthy and in love. We knew we wanted kids right away, but we weren’t exactly trying, just not preventing. As the months went by and my periods kept coming, I began to obsess about how we weren’t getting pregnant. I had an aunt that was currently in the midst of secondary infertility and began to worry that maybe we had something wrong also. I called my doctor to see if we could get in for some tests. They all said that we had to wait until we had been trying for at least one year. I grew more and more bitter as the rest of our “year” went on. I was so confused as to why we weren’t getting pregnant when we had prayed about it and felt that it was time.
Once our year was finally up, Cole went to see a urologist where he took in a semen sample. We then learned that Cole’s sperm count and mobility were not where they should be. His doctor put him on Clomid for a month to see how much his numbers would increase. Before that month was up, we had our appointment with our fertility specialist. During our consultation, Dr. S informed us that Cole’s numbers would most likely improve from being on Clomid, but not enough to get us pregnant. They ran tests on me, and all of them came back normal. We felt comforted knowing that only one of us had a fertility diagnosis.
At that time, we were told that our best option was to do In-vitro fertilization (IVF). We could start with intrauterine insemination (IUI), but our chances of getting pregnant were comparable to winning the lottery. We decided on IVF and our life quickly turned into weekly appointments, shots, blood draws, medical bills, and medication after medication while juggling the rest of our everyday lives. All in all, our IVF cycle went very smoothly. They were able to retrieve twenty-seven eggs from me, but this caused me to get ovarian hyperstimulation. This was honestly the worst part for me. I retained a lot of fluid and had to have a procedure that was very similar to egg retrieval but without being under anesthesia.
Over the next few days, we learned that twenty out of twenty-seven eggs were mature enough to fertilize. Eleven of them fertilized, but then four didn’t make it. This left us with seven and sitting much lower than our doctor had predicted. After we transferred two embryos to my uterus, we found out the next day that the rest of our embryos died. This left us with nothing to freeze. This affected me much harder than I anticipated and took a bit of time to grieve at losing the chance of a potential sibling for our baby. However, we tried to remain hopeful that our two embryos would take, but if they didn’t we would have to start IVF all over again. I couldn’t even think about it. The whole process was too fresh in my mind. I honestly wasn’t sure I was ready to endure all of it again, let alone pay another $15,000 in hopes for a baby. We had decided that if it didn’t result in a baby we were going to go to Europe.
Fourteen days later, standing in my work parking lot I took a phone call informing me that we were in fact pregnant! In an instant, the last year and a half was all worth it and our prayers had been answered. I was finally carrying a child, something we had prayed for and cried over for so long. Our son, Conrad, was born March 30th, 2014.
A year and a half later we decided we wanted to give IVF another chance in hopes to have a sibling for our sweet little boy. We had an appointment with Dr. S and talked about the medication changes we would make in hopes of having leftover embryos this time. The next step was just waiting for my period to start. After 40 days, which isn’t out of the norm for me, I finally caved and bought a pregnancy test, knowing that I was just wasting my money to get a negative result. However, to our surprise, we were actually pregnant! I remember waking my husband up freaking out that the pregnancy test in my hands said “pregnant.” Cole insisted that it was lying seeing how we had a less than one percent chance of ever conceiving on our own and to call our doctor. After demanding an immediate blood draw it was confirmed that we were indeed pregnant. We welcomed our second son, Raithel (Ry-thel), on March 5th, 2016.
A year and a half later in the thick of motherhood and doing my best to raise our little boys, I found myself in the same situation, waiting for my period to come. One store bought test later and we found out we were again expecting another miracle baby. We welcomed our sweet little girl Gentry, on April 9th, 2018.
Our infertility chapter seems so long ago and I’m still amazed to have three sweet little ones when I questioned if we would ever have one. The most important thing I have learned from this is to trust my Heavenly Father and His timing. I truly hope that I always remember this journey. I hope I remember the longing and the pain, so I remember to never take being a mom for granted.
Going through infertility has also brought me so many amazing opportunities to connect with others. I currently volunteer for Bundled Blessings Fertility Foundation that raises funds and awareness for couples diagnosed with infertility, to assist them with adoption, surrogacy, or treatment cost. I never thought I would view our fertility as a blessing, but I do. I’m so thankful for this trial my husband and I went through. Not only for the strength it brought us as a couple, but also for the opportunities it has given me to help others. We realize that our infertility journey is easier and shorter than most and that some endure much more and some are still waiting for their baby. I hope you know we pray for you and we hope that you never feel alone in your journey.
I think so many can relate to Santanna's story. There are so many couples that are young and healthy not expecting any issues with infertility. Infertility has so many ups and downs. I am so inspired by how Santanna and Cole faced their infertility with hope and strength. It is so powerful that she has gratitude for this trial. That is something I am still working towards. Now she is also helping others! The Bundled Blessings Fertility Foundation is amazing!!! If you haven't checked out their website and social media outlets you must! They are doing amazing things and sharing so much light and love. We all could use more of that and I really appreciate them.
Santanna's bravery and vulnerability to share her family's story has given me so much hope. Isn't she and her family gorgeous?! I will be at the Bundled Blessings Fertility Foundation and I am so excited to meet her in person.
