Happy Mother’s Day to all of you! Happy Mother’s day if you are a mom in heart and still yearning to have a sweet baby in your arms. Happy Mother’s day to those who like me have both heavenly and earthly angels. Happy Mother’s day to all the moms who are doing their very best.
As women, we have divine power to nurture and love all of those around us. We are able to love unconditionally and lift others. A woman’s love reminds us of how God unconditionally loves us.
To everyone you may nurture, your own children or children around you, you are important. You are significant. You are divine. You are enough, what you do and who you are matters.
It is ok to have all of the different feelings today. Be kind to yourself. I know how aware God is of each of us and knows our struggles. Have hope that good will come and you are so loved.
Love and Loss on Mother's Day
I have so many emotions surrounding Mother’s Day this year. I have had so many wonderful mothers in my life who have made a big impact on my life. My own mom especially is beyond amazing and I love her so much.
I am also so beyond grateful for my 2 beautiful children. They are my heart outside my body. I am so proud of them and love them so much. I am grateful I get to snuggle them and sing them to sleep every night. Their little hands in mine help heal my heart.
I am also aching this year. I am feeling my losses hard. I am missing my babies I never met, and the baby I would have had in just a few months. I am feeling the loss of unmet expectations and failed dreams. I am feeling angry that my body couldn’t do what it was meant to do. I am feeling anxious because I am not sure what is going to come next. Do we have more babies? Do we do IVF? I don’t know if I can mentally handle another ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage.
To the mom that is meticulously planning hormone injections, pills, doctor’s visits, and tracking your cycle I see you. I see your broken heart every time you have to drive by that “expecting mom” parking spot. I know what it feels like to get another baby shower announcement and be excited for them and sad for yourself all at the same time.
To the mom who is constantly thinking of the baby that you carried only for a few weeks and never met I see you. I see you trying to picture your baby’s sweet face and tiny features in your mind. I see you dreaming of what “could have been.”
To the mom who has small children and is beyond tired, I see you. I see you questioning if the work you are doing to take care of those small kiddos is enough. I know grocery trips are more like marathons, sleeping is non-existent, and every surface is mysteriously sticky.
To all of you, I stress that you are enough. You are doing so much better than you think you are. You’re amazing and strong. You are beautiful. Be kind to yourself and let others around you love on you!
What kind of feelings is Mother’s Day bringing up for you this year?
My Experience With Grief
I remember seeing this picture and thinking “YES! That is me. That is what my grief feels like!” I’m all over the place!
Most days I really am ok and happy. I get out of bed and I get after my morning, but everything feels heavy and hard today. I can feel my anxiety tight in my chest while my mind races. I think I could probably either scream or burst into tears at any moment. I wonder if it’s Mother’s Day coming up? I both love and dread Mother’s Day.
It’s only been a few months since my last loss and 2nd ectopic pregnancy that changed everything. I’m still healing and today is a grief day, and I’m reminding myself that’s ok.
I was struggling with what to share today but nothing was coming. There is just the grief. I’m sad, anxious, and tired. I had plans for what this Mother’s Day would look like. I would be in my third trimester. Now those plans are different, which is ok. Today is hard.
I’m trying to be super transparent and honest to help others know it’s ok to have days like this. Grief comes in waves. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere when you least expect it. Thankfully there is a tomorrow. Tomorrow has lots of opportunities to be better.
So if you’re having a hard grief day be kind to yourself! I’m sending you all the love! ♥️ Share below how you get through the hard days of infertility, pregnancy losses, and grief...Hopefully, we can all help each other.
Miscarriage 101
I hope to educate others and take the stigma away from types of pregnancy loss and infertility. We educate ourselves about other health issues, diabetes, how to manage a cold, ear infections, etc. So why not miscarriage? I knew nothing about it until after I was experiencing one.
The more you know the more empowered you are about your health. Knowledge helps us be more understanding to what others are going through.
A miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of a woman's pregnancy before the 20th week. It can be VERY painful, traumatic, and is very emotional.
About 15 to 20 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. The first time I miscarried I was SHOCKED at this statistic. I had no idea how common it was. After my miscarriage I had so many friends reach out and say, “me too.”
Miscarriages usually happen early, over 80% of miscarriages happen in the first 3 months of pregnancy.
After a miscarriage, there are often feelings of helplessness, shame, guilt, and self-blame. I have really isolated myself after my pregnancy losses. It is lonely & the emotions are sometimes too much. Miscarriages happen randomly, no one really knows why they happen. All of those feelings are normal, but you are absolutely NOT to blame for your miscarriage. You did nothing wrong.
All of the emotions related to miscarriage can be intensified by the rapid change in your hormones.
You may need medical help during the miscarriage. Your OB-GYN should be aware of what you are experiencing & then can help you with the correct treatment.
Consult your doctor if you are experience bleeding. My miscarriages have always had heavy bleeding like the worst period of my life. Some bleeding can be totally normal during pregnancies.
IT IS OK TO GRIEVE. After a miscarriage, you are experiencing a loss. A loss of a child, a loss of family plans, a loss of dreams, etc. It is normal & healthy to grieve. There is no right way to grieve.
Getting pregnant after a miscarriage can be so overwhelming & full of anxiety. However, most women who miscarry get pregnant again & have a full term perfect baby.
Do you have any questions about miscarriage or is there something you wish you had known?