National Infertility Awareness Week is such a great opportunity to educate about infertility and also support those warriors who are battling it. I have felt really blessed to have an army of friends and family supporting me, as well as people who are more like angels I have never met before.
When I thought I was having a miscarriage one thought came to my mind, “be brave.” I was pretty irritated with the thought, how can I “be brave” and go through this for the 4th time! I didn’t have anyone really to relate to that also had multiple losses. I felt totally alone. The only person I could think of was a super inspiring woman who I have followed on IG, @kellyejensen. Kelly has 7 sweet angel babies and I reached out to her. She was so kind and gave me words of encouragement. She also mentioned “be brave” and told me I was strong enough to have large amounts of courage. I felt so much peace that God was aware of me.
Moving forward I kept thinking, “be brave” and as my loss changed from miscarriage to ectopic I clung to “be brave.” Now as we are battling infertility and other complications from my losses I keep repeating “be brave.” I have a ring made from a darling little shop called @tesorojewelry that says, “be brave.” While I was ordering from the owner Jesse, I mentioned how much I appreciated her making me the ring and my 4 losses. When my order arrived there was the “be brave” ring and also a bar necklace with 4 tiny hearts. I cried and felt so much love from this girl I have never met. The name “Four Hearts Project” was inspired by her necklace.
We can be earthly angels like Kelly and Jesse were for me and support each other through hard things. If you are going through infertility I hope you remember you are also strong enough to “be brave.” 💪🏻
To keep spreading the goodness that was shown to me come back tonight for a giveaway I will be having for a “be brave” ring from Tesoro Jewelry. This isn’t sponsored by anyone, but just a gift from me to you trying to keep the love moving.
Tag a friend below that you think is brave and tell them why!🙌🏻💪🏻👊🏻
Flip the Script - National Infertility Awareness Week
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Because of my second ectopic pregnancy in January, it is still surreal that I am struggling with infertility, specifically secondary infertility. After having 2 healthy babies I never thought this would be my reality. I am so grateful for my kids, and I still mourn for the babies that we have lost.
1 in 8 couples are affected by infertility. Chances are that you or someone you know is struggling. So why don’t we talk about it more? Why are so many women and couples suffering alone silently? Why is there so much shame surrounding infertility? This week gives an opportunity to break down the stigma and barriers surrounding infertility.
Infertility is an emotional rollercoaster. It is full of heartbreak, shattered dreams, and lost expectations. Your sense of self-worth is shattered while anxiety, depression, grief, and loneliness set in.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” -Brené Brown
This week I am going to try and be vulnerable by owning my story. The last 2 years, and especially these past few months have been so difficult and dark. I have sobbed from the depths of my broken soul. But, I have also felt the power of letting light in and putting my broken pieces back together. My hope is that by sharing my story I will find more meaning and purpose in it and that we can all support each other.
I encourage you this week to share your story of infertility and read others. Support those around you who are struggling with infertility. Let’s #FlipTheScript of infertility and bring each other into the light. I will also be sharing facts about infertility, resources, brave stories from other women, and have a fun giveaway starting tomorrow. Tag your friends below that might benefit from this strong community. 💪🏻💕
More About Me...
How is the gratitude journaling going?! I hope it has been a good experience so far. I want to hear all about it!
I wanted to continue to show and talk about some of the things in my life I am grateful for. The hard, ugly, broken parts of life are always a big part of our stories but I also have some really awesome parts that fill me up with light and hope.
I have two beautiful kids. My son Hayden is 9. He is brilliant and so funny. I joke he is my “unicorn kid.” He is so naturally obedient and seriously the sweetest kid you will ever meet. He joined our family super quickly. I was just 22 when this handsome little boy came into my life. Because he arrived so quickly I never thought in a million years I would ever be considering IVF now, years later. I had lots of time to spend just with him before my daughter was born. I am so grateful for that time we had just us because I really think it helped us have a super close relationship. He was and still is my little buddy.
My daughter Halli is 5. I had a really awful miscarriage before her and she really helped heal part of my heart. Halli is fearless, has a huge imagination, loves making people laugh, and walks to the beat of her own drum. She definitely keeps me on my toes with her big ideas and opinions. Since Hayden is in school all day we get so much one on one time to spend together.
I was SO stressed about their age difference. They are 4 years and 3 months apart exactly. I should have known that Heavenly Father had the bigger picture and has the perfect plan for us. They are so close and the best of friends. They help each other in ways I never could.
As I have had 3 losses in a row it has brought our family closer. I try to plan more things to do together so we can make lasting memories. We snuggle more, play more games, and I love hanging out with this crew. My kids often ask about babies and pray for them constantly. It has been something we have all gone through together and a learning experience.
I’m so grateful for those two gorgeous kids of mine. They are often my tender mercies and make me laugh on hard days.
Gratitude Changes Everything
It had been a few weeks after my last ectopic pregnancy and I was a wreck, to say the least. I was angry, unbelievably sad, anxious, tears were always right under the surface, and I was grasping for understanding. One of my inspired church leaders gave me the advice to start a gratitude journal. I was a little turned off by the idea if I’m totally honest. How in the world could I find things to be grateful for right now when everything feels so dark and heavy? Regardless of my hesitation, I started… I kept a running list in my phone of random moments I was grateful for:
“I got a text reminding me someone is thinking of me.” “I got out of bed and accomplished things around the house.” “Hayden was extra snuggly today.” “It was beautiful outside so we went outside to play.” “A friend came to get Halli so I could rest.” “I laughed out loud at a text from a friend.” “I’m grateful we have Blue Bell ice cream in the fridge.”
Any little thing I wrote down. At night right before bed, I would write down at least three things where I saw tender mercies from my Heavenly Father.
This gratitude exercise was life-changing. Finding things in my day made the grief not feel so heavy. My anxiety wasn’t as crippling and at night I could sleep a little better. Having gratitude gave me lots of new perspectives so I could feel more moments of peace. I could see more moments where Heavenly Father was aware of me. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said, “We can choose to be grateful no matter what.” This experience helped teach me the power of gratitude! It is amazing.
So... find a journal, make a section of gratitude notes on your phone, or I did both. I promise it will help you no matter your situation. Your list doesn’t have to be very long. I only started with three things at first. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant the moments or things you are grateful for, I truly believe anyone can have the life-changing blessings of being grateful, and seeking out those tender mercies from Heavenly Father.
Start today! Practice gratitude for a week and see how it changes everything in your life. Then let me know how it changes you and your day.
Hang On & Have Hope...
Hang on...have hope...never lose faith...believe in miracles...endure to the end.
Going from a Sunday to the real life of Monday sometimes feels so hard, but I love this reminder from Elder Holland. We just need to do our best. We are NOT expected to be perfect. We get credit just for trying. As we do our best a loving Heavenly Father makes up the difference and everything will be ok. Accomplish just one task at a time, do your best, and remember you’re so loved.