A week ago on Instagram I had a poll that asked: “do you ever feel inadequate in one or multiples roles/areas in your life?” I also asked what letter grade you would give yourself currently and what letter grade you think you should be. The result was 100% said yes to feeling inadequate most of the time. The average letter grade people said they currently are is a C or B- and everyone said they should be an A- or an A. I am totally a perfectionist, and a planner. I set super high probably absurd expectations for myself. I know exactly what it is like to feel inadequate, and I would never want anyone else to feel that way.
I have noticed that while processing my grief I tend to overcompensate and especially stretch myself thin in all areas of my life. It is like I had all this extra love and energy to give to a new baby, a new person in our family, new dreams, and now it has nowhere to go. I try and do all the things. Keep my house spotless, plan healthy delicious meals and snacks, have fun crafts for my kids, plan surprises for them, have adventures for my family, be a better friend, wife, and daughter, do more, accomplish more, BE MORE! A+ all the time or inadequacy takes off like a runaway train.
Feeling inadequate is THE worst. If I feel inadequate it goes hand in hand with other emotions. Inadequate & powerless. Inadequate & negative self-talk. Inadequate & worthless. Inadequate & shame. I get burnt out, more depressed, and more anxious. My weaknesses seem to be exaggerated and I feel I am failing in at least one or more(sometimes all!) areas of my life.
Society, our culture, and social media have set an exceptionally high bar of perfection. We see everyone at their very best and compare those snapshot moments to our worst moments. It is impossible to do all the things and be all the things to everyone 100% all the time. We are flawed. We are meant to be flawed. Beautifully, perfectly, divinely flawed.
Instead of an A+, 100% perfection, our efforts of a B- or a C are perfectly acceptable and enough. B- and a C is still well over passing y’all! That is killing it in my book! I also guarantee your efforts are viewed as an A to everyone else. We are so hard on ourselves! When I allow myself to know that my best might be a C it changes my perception completely.
We shouldn’t stop trying to getting better and attain new goals. I don’t think we should settle for mediocre, but the goal should be progress and not perfection. Focusing on progress helps us be happier, feel peace, and have stronger relationships with those around us. Progress helps us see where we want to go, be humble, grateful, and empathetic to others.
We are meant to be imperfect, if we did things A+ all the time there would be no need for a Savior. We are meant to come to Him and be perfected in time while we learn. There are only certain things that you can do! No one can do things the way you can. I guarantee you are doing much better than you think you are. We are absolutely and completely enough. We are divine. We are loved.
